I don’t watch The Bachelor but this douchebaggery pervaded my entertainment news.

This weekend is going to be crazy fun with the Pamper Me Fabulous and Gold Standard events. But if, for some reason, you aren’t going to those maybe the following will tickle your fancy.

Thursday, March 5

Corkbar Opens Downtown
New wine bar, Corkbar, opens today. Choose from over 40 varieties of California wine while enjoying small plates, sandwiches or entrees. Beer drinkers will find pleasure in the Cali beer in bottles and on tap or with a flight of five samples.

• Opens daily 11:30am. Corkbar, 403 W. 12th Street, Downtown (map).

Friday, March 6

Wine Tasting: Cowineco Comprehensive Stimulus Plan
Yes, another stimulus plan to get you out there and spending. But you’ll want to check this one out. For $15 you get to sample five wines while munching on gourmet cheeses provided by Auntie Em’s Marketplace. I’m really curious about the jug o’ wine on the list, Sherman & Hooker’s Shebang! Red, Sonoma, California. It’s an actual jug of red, a mix of Syrah, Petite Sirah and Zin!

• 5:30-8:30pm. Colorado Wine Company, 2114 Colorado Boulevard, Eagle Rock (map). (323) 478-1985.

Free Beer & Great Comedians – The 12 Shiny Nickels Show
I don’t know what got me first: the free beer or the 12 comedians in one hour. Yes, at the beginning of the night the theater supplies a free case of beer but if you miss out on that you are invited to BYOB whatever type of booze you want and even your own food. And no, you don’t have to share. Get liquored up and take in 60 minutes of hilarity, where each comedian will do the best five minutes of their material.

• Doors open at 10:45pm. $10. The Garner Stages, 1501 N Gardner Street, West Hollywood (map).

Saturday, March 7

Much Love for Dogs & Wine
Dog owners, sample the finest selections from 20 wineries and local restaurants with other dog lovers while your puppy cavorts around with other dogs in The Lofty Dog’s 12,000-square-foot indoor dog park. A silent auction will feature luxury prizes and will raise much-needed funds for Much Love’s placement programs for homeless animals.

• 2-5pm. $49 advance, $60 at the door. The Lofty Dog, 525 S. Hewitt Street, Los Angeles (map).

BCBG, Splendid, & Ella Moss Sample Sale
An Ella Moss sale, of course I had to include it in this roundup. Over 2,000 purty dresses, cocktail dresses, tops, cashmere, handbags at 70% off. Sizes available range from 0 to 12. And if you pay with cash you get an additional 10% off! A reason to stop off at the ATM machine fer sure.

• 10am-5pm. Marriott Residence Inn, 1177 S Beverly Drive, Los Angeles (map).