OK, one of my NYE party girls mentioned Xenii (“Ex-ee-nee”) in passing as a countdown option, and having never heard of it before, it just went over my head like a mathematical formula. It wasn’t until I checked out Daily Candy’s New Year’s Eve guide that it sunk in. “A private members-only society, not open to the public”? Excuse me? You mean like the freemasons? Intrigued, I went to their site.

Yup, there it was in black and white: “Individuals are accepted into Xenii based on the strength of their relationships with trusted members and the qualities and attributes they bring to the Xenii community.” Which I found to mean, perusing their press clippings, “If you ain’t rich, drop-dead gorgeous or well-connected, go away.”

Xenii looks to be a secret society of partying A-list celebs and their various hangers-on in L.A.’s solution to keeping Jane Schmoes away from Leonardo DiCaprio and Average Joes from Lindsay Lohan. And no, you can’t talk your way into THIS party, invite only! Agents expense the membership fee and modeling agencies have their clients work the parties, all to keep the social circuit so fresh and so elite with a higher caliber of starfuckers.

And since it’s a traveling after-hours soiree with a new venue every time, these velvet rope dodgers never get bored with the digs du noir and party well into 5am, past the regular last call for the rest of L.A. For them, it’s only premium cocktails at all the best clubs where merely standing in the room raises your social standing up several notches.

So, countdown at a Xenii party? Er, right. Not when you have to be Paris Hilton or at least her bff Kimberley Stewart to get in. And who’d wanna?

If you feel like Xenii can benefit from your membership…and you have a referral from an existing member…and think you can pass the membership board’s scrutiny, apply here.